Monday, January 28, 2013
Horoscope- 1/28/2013
Tonight, you will go to bed wishing you had finished that film instead of finishing your necessary work. Don't worry- you can always watch a film again and with newly excited pupils. They will dilate when you grow excited. Cinema works that way.
Horoscope- 1/25/2013
You will show severe lack of character today. Just admit you don't like Thai food and get on with it!
Horoscope- 1/24/2013
If only these horoscopes occurred before the actual day, I could warn you that your coffee maker will break, leaking brown ooze all over your counter. A sleepless night with the following caffeine deprivation will lead to an exhaustion only healed through drink. Ignore the mixers, and shoot 'til you sleep.
Horoscope- 1/23/2013
You are probably destroying your liver and kidneys. Everyday brings you exponentially closer to death. Find solace in the reality that the cyborg revolution is coming. The cogs will keep you going 'til they melt in our inevitable collision with the sun.
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