Sappy Love Poem

As much as it is possible for one human being to own another wholly
I belong to you, Annabelle
If you wanted to, you could bottle up my soul like a green glowing fairy
You could use me as a nightlight, a candle, a reading lamp
I would always glow for you, bright as I could or dim as you like
And, if you asked me, I would snuff myself out to let you sleep

I belong to you, Annabelle

You, you were always so devoutly Catholic, you prayed for me
You gave yourself to something big
You asked for my salvation
I went through the motions. That is love
I bathed naked in a basin of holy water with a priest watching and muttering
I learned the words. I would have memorized encyclopedias for you,
But really, it’s all silly to me, giving myself to God, because I know wholeheartedly that

I belong to you, Annabelle

If you asked me to, I would jump from the top of a skyscraper, the Tower of Babel even,
If you asked me to, I would
I wouldn’t even be afraid, I feel as though I wouldn’t fall but only fly
I know that I could
How can a person fall in love? No, we do not fall
We jump and we expect to fall and be crushed
Sometimes we lose our gifts and end up broken on the pavement
But, forever now, I can float within the wind like an autumn leaf

I belong to you, Annabelle

I find myself stripped of all my being, my many labels, everything I thought I was
And there you are
Beneath, I have found you
Of course, I’m just an ugly thing, an ugly mold of blood and flesh and bone
But, because I know that you are there underneath it all, you are all I am,
And I am beautiful
And you, my beloved, you tell me that I am beautiful, but I’m distracted by your lips
I’m distracted by you always. This is my bliss

I belong to you, Annabelle

Burn out my eyes, cut out my heart, chop away my useless limbs, pour acid on my face
That is not pain, no
Pull me out in front of a million people and call me a coward, a whore, an abomination
Tell them all my greatest shames, remind them of my failures
Whip my back and stab my chest. Kill me!
They can do whatever they like, inside I will laugh!
Underneath, in that place that is you
They cannot touch you with their violence, you are safe within me always.
That’s all that matters.
You
You are all that matters

I belong to you, Annabelle

And you will dwell within this pining, silly, maudlin heart
Even if my soul should be extinguished
Or any number of gods forsakes me, and strikes me down to size
If I am taken into a million different pieces and scattered to the wind
Even if I lose hold of my mind, believe I’m someone else, someone who never knew you
If I am lost to age, accident, another’s anger, apocalypse, Alzheimer’s
If one day I forget you

I will, beyond any doubt, remain
Your happy,
Your most dutiful servant
Your protector
Your winter coat
And, I hope, your love

If you’ll have me
(and even if you won’t)

Annabelle
I belong to you, Annabelle
And you, only, only you.



Copyright Amanda Martin 2009