Nanowrimo- I Won!

I don't think I've gotten a single congratulation yet, so I'm posting it here that I did in fact write 50,000 words toward a novel in the month of November (actually wrote 60,000). I didn't actually finish the book (three chaps left) but that's not the real point. I'm happy anyway. And I got a lot of words written- phew! So, that's why it says winner over there on the left. I'll take it down in January on account of bragging all year is a little silly.

Anywho, the novel was called The (Mostly) True Story of Ms. Bertha P. Collins, Grandmother, Showman, and Sometimes Usurper, as Told By the Terribly Unfortunate, Blister-Thumbed, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez, Volume 1. Yes, it is rather silly.

Here is the summary:

The biography of Miss Bertha "Bertie" Prudence Collins as recollected by her greatest enemy, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez. Miss Collins is best known for the unfortunate watercolor incident, by which she entered the land of Tyzkule and sparked a revolution. But that part really isn't interesting at all, is it? What readers really will want to know is, does she find love?

Here is the preface, which is by my fictional narrator, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez. It is unedited, so be kind:

Greetings from Hortensia Higgory Hernandez. Yes, it is true, despite my immeasurable fame and uncountable wealth, I have been drawn in to the not-so-noble art of biography writing. I may as well tell you, as it will certainly appear in the latest tunes of the gossip troubadours and besmeared upon the walls of even the humblest of courtyards, that I have been forced to undertake this task- yes, compelled against my very will!- to compose this, the first volume documenting the life of one Miss Bertha P. Collins, grandmother, showman, and sometimes usurper.

How have I, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez, the greatest thumb wrestling champion this world has ever seen, been strong armed into such a dreadful position, you ask. Well, dear friend, come closer, and I shall whisper it in your ear.

It was all that no-good Bertie Collins’ fault! Though my brief interlude in this the first section of this rather too long work does, in fact, spoil the very ending of this text if read as a narrative tale by revealing to you that, yes, the accursed Miss Collins does yet live, I promise you that the suspense has not been relieved at all! For, I will tell you here, on risk of once again becoming imprisoned on a stinking naval ship, that I have every intent of destroying the Collins woman’s very existence before my pen scribbles the final letters, final punctuation marks, final spaces, if one can write such things, within this ridiculous book.

Hear me well! And by “hear” I mean “read, and understand in the very core of your miserable being!” Come along with me and see the terrible creature that is Bertie Collins, for though my pro-Collinsian editor has ruined, I tell you, RUINED the essence of my work by omitting many truths as to the nature of Collins’ wicked existence, I have very cleverly managed to include subtextual references to her true character.

Be not fooled by the propaganda or the kind words of her silly friends and family. It is on account of Collins that I now sit here with blistered thumbs and cracky knuckles. How, after such an ordeal, can I ever defeat even the weakest foe in a tournament of skill, true skill, of the thumb martial art?

You have been warned.
-Hortensia Higgory Hernandez


Now then, I am waiting for your congratulations. Impatiently. :( BTW, this is my third successful year in a row- yayz!