Observer

Okay, so maybe one of the reasons my blog entries end up so short is that I'm purposefully trying not to be whiny or judgmental- that's what my pain blog is for.  You know, that one is more or less a diary that I just happen to put online because it's easier for saving and, well, more fun, quite frankly.  But this blog seems to have gotten more or less PC in tone.  Like I'm afraid of offending you all.

So, let's complain.  Just to shake things up.

I really really really did not want to get out of bed this morning.  It isn't uncommon for me to want to burrow under the covers and pretend to be a dead-like thing.  But today, I really thought I could do it forever.  Then my second alarm went off and I got up.  I think that having cats to cuddle with makes it harder.  They really hate the cold that comes when you leave.  Er, when I leave...

I basically didn't have much to do today, so I copy edited the department newsletter again.  Which is really boring, and hard to do when you are a receptionist.  Because folks keep being noisy and distracting.  I can't listen to music either, because it would distract other people.  Oh, how lowly I am.  Anyway, I got a little irritated, because people were really being noisy today, and it was insanely hard to concentrate.  Here's hoping I caught most/all the typos and grammatical errors.

I'm not really irritated anymore though, so it's silly to say anything at all.  I was just a little peeved at the time.  But I know that people were tired from the busy end of the year rush.  So really, I feel bad for being annoyed.  Obviously am crap at this.

Going to bed...

Holiday?

What is the deal with this  holiday eve eve becoming a holiday in and of itself?  On Christmas Eve eve, almost everyone went home early or stayed home the whole day.  Today, the day before New Year's Eve (aka New Year's Eve eve) I was one of two people who stayed until 5 p.m.  What madness is this?

Wow.  I don't know how people do it, writing paragraph upon paragraph about their lives.  I'm trying to write longer and more often, but it seems the only way to do that would be to post poetry all the time.  Which would just be boring....?  I did write a poem today, but I'm posting it to my pain blog, on account of it's all related-to-pain-y.

I finished writing the third third of my capstone today (rough drafts).  A lot more exciting than it sounds.  Got to talk about Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  As a metaphor for pain.  Yurp...

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  As you may recall, I randomly do my New Year's resolutions/goals in September.  Because time isn't fixed/is arbitrary- so really it doesn't matter when you do your resolutions.  Of course, what I do isn't really a resolution, so much as a goal to read 52 books in a single year.  Rereads don't count though.  If you look to the right, you'll see my count for this year, which I think is at least one behind at the moment.  I didn't count academic texts/texts read for my research or school last year, but I decided to this year.  As Gertrude Stein said (sorta) a book is a book is a book is a book.

My computer really needs to get restarted or something.  Probably I've got oodles of updating to do.  The computer is taking many long seconds to type what I am trying to make it type with this keyboard.  It is really annoying when there are typos.  Mostly the caps carrying over to an additional letter.

Wow,  this post is boring. 

Scatterbrained me

I'm just going to tell you and get it over with- I lost a Christmas present.  Retrospectively, the whole matter is a bit amusing and obviously meant to be, but I was pretty upset yesterday and this morning.  I got the gift months ago, and have been pretty durned proud to have got all my Christmas shopping done during Hanukkah, since it came so early this year.  But alas, on wrapping last night, I realized that the certain present was missing.

I looked everywhere.  Not kidding.  I sent hounds out, I tried yelling "accio present" with wand a-waving, I even consulted a ouija board.  The best I can figure, the thing has got itself to an alternate reality.  Worm holes are tricky suckers.

In any case, I went out and repurchased it.  Man, were the stores crazy today though.  Well, store anyway.  I only went to the one.  Didn't lose any others (she says, cockilly).

Plus, I wanted the thing myself (even thought about getting myself one when I went to get the other), but I held off.  So, whenever the thing pops its head out, I'll be ready to pounce and claim it as my own [insert evil cackle here].

Moral of story- when you want something, buy it, or terrible things will happen and you'll have to buy it twice anyway.  (Obviously, I am quite superior to silly Aesop)

Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben

Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben

Except that what all there is now
is the will-one-day-be-retconned reality
people wondering where I’ve been
what can I tell them, except that
once in 1988 some jackass called in
over and over with a computer
voting that I’d get blown up

except that I didn’t blow up, not entirely
they’ll say I was in suspended animation
locked up in a block of ice after botching
an attempt at defusing an explosive
but really this revolving door
leading in and out of a certain heaven
that might be no place really

except that I was in reality 616
where maybe my wife is dead
(it's hard to remember now
what with all this coming and going)
but maybe I’m just camouflaged
killing a just another one of me
mostly just to pass the time

except there's nothing much I know
whether I died or not,
blown up or drowned
shot by some burglar
killed myself while not myself
all that remains
is a revolving door plot
and a god with writer's block


Copyright 2010 Amanda Martin Sandino

A Blog Post!

Because acc. L, I haven't been updating much lately.  Which is ridiculous... 'cause witches, they were persecuted, Wicca good and love the earth and women power and I'll be over here.




I'm including the video for reference, in case you all (all two of you...) aren't as nerdling-y as me (I?).  Even though there were none on Youtube of high quality.  What is that about?  Honestly, Youtube gods-- yer powers are gettin' a wee bit weak.

You can tell I'm tired because of the way I've suddenly forgotten how to spell words.  I first spelled weak "week."  Earlier, I spelled panic "panick."  There are other weird things like this-- I need a good nap.  Saturday shall be declared Dead Day.  Except it can't be.  Drat.  So then, next Wednesday will be Dead Day, Autumn 2010.  I need to defeat Twilight Princess.  Although I must admit, I have gotten myself stuck in the City in the Sky- which is pretty pathetic for a hero hell-bent (heaven-bent?) on saving all of Hyrule.

Plus, I was laid out for five days-ish do to a crazy pain crisis.  So, now I have yet another med.  Which means I am even more broke.  Am so broke and busy- it is not funny.  On positive note- I will have the whole of my capstone rough drafted by the start of next quarter.  Less work then- hurrah!

Ugh, the last thing I want to do right now is look at a computer screen, so I'm going to go and get an ice pack and read my new steampunk novel some more.  It actually last ended on a cliffhanger- Civil War folks (we're not sure which army it is) are trying to blow the dirigible out of the sky!  Yikes! <-- G-rated version of what I actually thought. ^^*

What happened to emoticons, btw?  Am I now the only one who uses them?  So outdated...

Good night!

A Novel Approach to Cultural Studies?

Amanda Martin Sandino*

"The oxygen and hydrogen will now have the honor of combining before Your Majesty."
- John Henry Pepper (creator of the illusory technique Pepper's Ghost) to Queen Victoria, quoted in Jim Steinmer's Hiding the Elephant: How Magicians Invented the Impossible and Learned to Disappear, also quoted in Clover as a cheesy metaphor for love.

It is astounding to me the number of ways in which my academic and nerdy artist lives have intermingled over the past year.  I've written poems drawing upon Audre Lorde's theories of poetics, made a radio show in tribute to hooks, Said, Halberstam, and others, and, alas, as of November 30th, written the great Cultural Studies U.S. American novel.  I use the word "great" loosely, as, so far as I know, I'm the only one to have written a cultural studies novel at this point, though I'd be pretty thrilled to be proved wrong.

I've always been pretty self-reflexive as a fiction writer, which is possibly the main reason why I never get any novels done save during National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) each November, when would-be novelists are encouraged by the Office of Letters and Light to write 50,000 words of a novel starting at November 1st at 12:00 a.m. and ending at 11:59 p.m. on November 30th.  For the past four years, I have been successful in these attempts, writing A Shiver in the Distance (general fiction, 2007), Dedication (general fiction, 2008), The (Mostly) True Story of Ms. Bertha P. Collins, Grandmother, Showman, and Sometimes Usurper, as Told By the Terribly Unfortunate, Blister-Thumbed, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez, Volume 1 (children's fantasy, 2009), and, most recently, Clover (steampunk, 2010).  All of these books were written while attending university, the first while an Asian Studies student at Seattle University, the second in the same program but as an exchange student at 上智大学 (Sophia University) in Tokyo, and the third and fourth while a cultural studies grad student.

This most recent session, I was even more self-reflexive (self-critical, panicky about undermining my own intentions, and harried) than the previous years, while simultaneously considering whether or not the novels written in the first two years of my Nanowrimo experience ought to be trashed.  We do a lot of critiquing in cultural studies, but, in my eyes, no one is more harshly critiqued than the self.

Cultural Studies and Zombies

I've also been interested in linguistic questions, such as the idea of cultural studies as a non-discipline/anti-discipline.  Recently, at a graduate research colloquium, a certain professor demonstrated an archive of multi/mixed media materials pulled together during a summer 2010 study abroad to South Africa, expressing displeasure at it often being referred to as a "scrapbook."  Perhaps a better term might be "non-scrapbook"?  In any case, I've been considering the linguistic understandings of non/anti-discipline in terms of the word "undead" to refer to zombies and the like, the reanimated dead as it were (and vampires, sometimes, but let's not get into polemics).  What does it mean to be "undead"?  Well, realistically the undead are dead, technically, as they have died in some form, but this death has far more implications than the conventional death.  After all, this isn't an idle death, but one full of transformation and movement, as well as the continuous daming (not too be confused with "damning"--"siring" simply felt too patriarchal) or turning of the living.

What does this mean in terms of cultural studies?  Well, in case you haven't followed my rather obtuse metaphor, cultural studies as a non-discipline works outside of traditional understandings of a discipline.  Stuart Hall, a grandsire of cultural studies in a strictly Whedonian sense, explains:

Cultural studies has multiple discourses; it has a number of different histories. It is a whole set of formations; it has its own different conjunctures and moments in the past. It included many different kinds of work. I want to insist on that! It always was a set of unstable formations. It was "centered" only in quotation marks, in a particular kind of way which I want to define in a moment. It had many trajectories; many people had and have different trajectories through it; it was constructed by a number of different methodologies and theoretical positions, all of them in contention... Now, does it follow that cultural studies is not a policed disciplinary area? That it is whatever people do, if they choose to call or locate themselves within the project and practice of cultural studies? I am not happy with that formulation either. ("Cultural Studies..." 278, emphases mine)

In Barnes and Noble, cultural studies as a "genre" seems to imply "something that just didn't really fit anywhere else" or anthropological investigations of subcultures (Fruits, a Japanese magazine on street fashion, was once found there).  When I search the store for books needed for classes in the cultural studies program, however, I have found authors in various sections: bell hooks alone spanned Education (Teaching to Transgress), Memoir (Ain't I a Woman?), Cultural Studies (Teaching Community), African American Studies (Killing Rage), and Literary Studies (Feminist Theory from Margin to Center).  While inconvenient, this spanning is demonstrative of the undisciplinary nature of cultural studies.  Even when one of our number makes a "scrapbook" it is far more than a conventional scrapbook-- the text is not simply a memory book of random photographs, captions, dates, and aesthetics-- it also acts as a critique of the traditional scrapbook in itself.  The photographs are driven by theoretical understandings of what a photograph can do and mean.  A photojournalist in my program uses his photos to critique racism, and considers what race means in terms of photography.  In a recent mapping assignment, dates were reconsidered in less quantitative terms, drawing instead upon significant news items, popular songs, and television shows of those particular times to create a greater understanding of the dates she discussed.

Even the word "scrapbook" has a number of connotations, many negative and perhaps a bit stereotypical.  Literally, we are referring to the archives we create as a "book of scraps," which feels a bit underrepresentative of the thought going into this professor's project as a whole.  Yet there is also the connotation of womanhood and a woman's art similar to that of quilting, which may be positive yet, historically, has been underappreciated, as my cohort explains in her dissertation proposal:

Economic models all look at the same three categories: production, distribution, and consumption, but they leave out a critical fourth category, resource maintenance (Sampson, 2008). These crucial jobs include social reproduction, caring labor, domestic labor, community building, and care of the local environment. These activities are the crucial foundation of any economy, yet are ignored because they are feminine, or femin-ized work. If women did not perform these services, the entire economy would collapse, yet no one has made a development model that valorizes these activities. (Brown 1, emphasis in original)

Methods (of Vampire Slayery)

One of the most liberating aspects of being in a cultural studies program is the methodological freedom.  It doesn't even extend simply to what methods I can use for my own work, but to the texts of those we study/with whom we study as well.


(A Cultural Studies-y critique how Twilight romanticizes stalking, via a dialogue with Whedon's self-proclaimed feminist vampire dramedy, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.)

In particular, I had the pleasure of understanding research surrounding South Africa and the world cup from a variety of affiliated voices through a number of media types, including video, theoretical research article, autoethnographic article, newspaper article, unscrapbookery, and lecture.  Two of the larger products of this research (these researches) was Krabill's book Starring Mandella & Cosby and the My World Cup project.  Yet even within these methods, other media types are brought in, such as song, dance, and graffiti art.  One of the pieces that most resonated with the research slipped into my recent novel, was the video "Waka Waka: The Official World Cup Anthem":


Waka Waka from Angelica Macklin on Vimeo.

What is so wonderful about this video to me is the way it addressed various viewpoints surrounding the song "Waka Waka."  It is a joke within my CS cohort that our work is producing no answers, only more questions, which is certainly exemplified by the contradictory opinions on Shakira's primary involvement in the performance of the 2010 World Cup anthem.  Yet, this video was produced in South Africa, so it would be interesting to include viewpoints within other countries as well, such as Shakira's native country of Colombia.  For example, Shakira is an extremely important figure for many Latin@ Americans, because she is such a success in the U.S. while simultaneously producing songs in her native Spanish.  The professor of my core CS course this quarter spoke similarly about the many perspectives surrounding Christopher Columbus, primary: 1) CC as the discoverer of the U.S. and a hero, 2) CC as a murderer of native peoples and whose crews mutinied on him twice, 3) CC's importance as 1 for Italian and Latin@ Americans as one of the few U.S. national heroes with whom they/we can relate. 

Another speaker in this series spoke about her work with the Senegal-based non-profit Tostan, including the production/writing of a pamphlet on the organization and an academic article co-authored with the Tostan founder.  Before this lecture, I had already shied away from non-auto ethnography due to an unfortunate reading of Snyder and Mitchell's chapter on "Compulsory Ferali-ization" in Cultural Locations of Disability.  In this piece, the authors essentially argue against any type of disability studies in the academy, citing that people with disabilities (hereafter PWDs**) have been mistreated by the academy for long enough and that modern approaches to working with PWDs as research subjects are in no way superior to the sequestering and subsequent study of PWDs a hundred years ago (200).  Since the last thing I want to do is "reproduc[e] aspects of an oppressive culture"(201), I switched my research so that I will no longer be interviewing with other people with chronic pain***, but instead drawing from my own experiences as one with chronic pain.

Yet, this professor's talk on her work with Tostan and the ethical considerations of working with predominantly Black poor East Africans as a White U.S. American member of the academy was eye opening.  One of the ways in which Western imperialism is addressed in the organization, as explained by Gillespie, is through a bottoms-up, community-led approach, wherein the people in the towns where the organization's programs are implemented are the leaders:

Tostan honors the local context of our participants. Our classes are held in local African languages, and we hire and train culturally competent and knowledgeable local staff. Classes are taught in a participatory manner and emphasize dialogue and consensus building, highly valued skills in African societies. Learners create songs, dances, plays, and poetry inspired from traditional culture to reinforce new knowledge. (Tostan website)

In my own research, I am predominantly focusing on the creation of a poetry chapbook, a theoretical essay considering the self-other problem in relation to pain, and an autoethnographic paper on pain depictions inside and outside of medicine, drawing upon my poetry as one with chronic pain.  Yet, I also work through blogging, have created a website, and consider my research through a variety of other methods.   I hope to be less panicky at the prospect of ethnography in the future, however, because Gillespie's work has helped me to remember that, while no research can be perfectly ethical, particularly since "the good" is in itself subjective, researchers have come a long way, generally speaking, in self-reflectory and well-meaning research praxes.  Furthermore, wide generalizations, such as those of Snyder and Mitchell, should be considered as problematic in themselves (which is academese for Snyder and Mitchell can go fuck themselves in an ultimately unsatisfying manner****).

Steampunk'd: How Cultural Studies Bogarted My Novel

Without further ado, I will dig into how cultural studies infiltrated Clover in November 2010.  I will do it via a list, because numbers make me feel quantitative, even if it is merely an illusion.

Anyway, at risk of even more ostentatiously allowing my "geek flag" to fly, I will need to briefly sum up this year's novel.  So, basically, steampunk is a science fiction sub-genre wherein one reimagines the Victorian era with futuristic advances, traditionally with inventions steam-powered (popular examples: The Time Machine, the new Sherlock Holmes, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea).   Of course, as all good ideas tend to do, this one went off in far less solidly-defined directions (a lot has been done with the U.S. American Civil War), before becoming an un-sub-genre of sorts.

So Clover essentially follows a plot based around the idea of a new sort of plague (ever so Star Trek-ian-ly referred to as "The Disease") hitting the world as a problematic whole in a more-or-less modern-ish era.  As is the usual course of apocalyptic action, groups with money and/or power head up to the skies to escape the airborne disease.  Our hero is a young boy who sneaked aboard one of these ships, and has had the cure hidden in his bloodstream.

Well, I never did claim to be Shikibu (if that was her name).  In any case, this rather silly, and rather purposefully silly, novel considered a number of cultural studies concepts.   Seriously.  At least three, if you're to believe my fancy list.  And here they are:

Formulating Silences- Trouillot speaks of how certain historical events are made to become invisibilized, particularly explaining formulas of erasure and banalization (96).  In particular, Trouillot considers the virtually disappearance of the Haitian Revolution from U.S. (and other countries') history textbooks, and how this came to be.  He talks about how the Haitian Revolution is often listed as simply an independence struggle that occurred by following the examples of the U.S. and France (banalization), and how nobody discussed the revolution in Haiti even at the time-- a strong, and fairly successful, attempt was made to hush up its existence as a whole (erasure).

One of the major historical events in Clover is the period when the airships took off, leaving everybody else behind to die.  Well, it would be pretty difficult to invisibilize this event for the folks left on the ground, but I wanted to consider how the event would be portrayed for survivors on the airships.  In any event, this process most unintentionally followed Trouillot's explanation in "An Unthinkable History: The Haitian Revolution as a Non-event."  Thus, if the abandoned earth is to be as Haiti, wherein the history of the separation is well understood, then the airship dwelling elite more or less ignore that the separation occurred.  It is portrayed as one of many such unfortunate but necessary happenings; commonplace and, well, banal.  Furthermore, the control of information makes it such that one cannot access non-Manifest Destiny-type understandings of this event.

In fact, the rhetoric also largely draws from a key scene in Doctor Strangelove when the eponymous Strangelove plans for how humankind is to outlive a nuclear holocaust.  Although the scene is part of a comedic film, some of the elements as well as the tone are sadly realistic.  In particular, the nostalgia meant to be associated with the dead-- a rhetorical device similarly attached to the lives of those lost in war (fighting the good fight and all that).  Similarly, the way in which the power to survive is portrayed as a necessary burden rather reeks of the White Man's Burden.



Spaces Within Spaces-  The idea of space was considered in far more depth this year than the previous novels.  In particular, Neil Smith's "Contours of a Spacialized Politics: Homeless Vehicles and the Production of Geographic Scale" and scales of space most surreptitiously slipped into my thinking.  Smith outlines the following spacial regions: body, home, community, urban, region, nation, and global (66).

In particular, the concept of body as space is deeply considered and perhaps plays a key role in the motivation for the creation of this piece.  In particular the idea of the body as an inescapable space for one with chronic disease, and the body as tool in a Kantian sense are two of the key philosophies considered in this work.  Throughout the novel, people with the Disease are continuously put into forms of quarantine, yet it might be argued that the diseased body is in itself the quarantined space, wherein one is made to become other.  Yet the body of the story's protagonist is further the space of cure, and he is come to be treated much as Kant's second premise of the Categorical imperative teaches against: "conduct is 'right' if it treats others as ends in themselves and not as means to an end" (30).

Yet the prison of external space is also considered in relation to the idea of perspective, particularly drawing on Hejinian's metaphor of Kaspar Hauser:

He [Kasper] encounters the enigma of space. Daumer [his teacher] points to the tower at whose top is Kaspar’s room. But that’s impossible. When in the room, Kaspar sees it everywhere around him. When standing below the tower which is said to contain the room, he can turn his back and it is gone; Therefore the room is bigger than the tower. (n.p.)

"The Resistance" or "The Resistances"?- One of the key concepts considered in my first quarter as a cultural studies grad student was that cultural studies as an un-discipline did not originate in a single location and does not have a single grandsire.  While there may be one attributed university wherein cultural studies first developed (Birmingham) and a number of names most tightly associated with its origins (Stuart Hall, Raymond Williams), additional programs and people are further considered, including by Stuart Hall, existing outside of both the academy and the West.

Essentially, this thinking infiltrated my own less overtly cultural studies-y writing with regard to classic and contemporary sci fi alliances and resistances.  For example, Star Trek has the United Federation of Planets, Star Wars has Rebel Alliance versus the Galactic Empire, and Firefly has the Alliance versus the Independent Faction.  While a sometimes nefarious but also sometimes positively portrayed hedgemonic power is put in place, there generally is a simple singular rebel faction.  This line of thinking was questioned in this novel through the existence of resistances on multiple fronts, often working actively against one another and with various motivations.

A singular in-power group versus a singular working-for-power group is thus problematized.

*If you steal this, I will not only hire the best pro bono intellectual property rights lawyer that money can't buy, but will use my knowledges of the old religion to put a non-violent curse on you. 

** Referring to people with disabilities as PWDs is probably very problematic.  But, quite frankly, I find all terms referring to people with disabilities either offensive or annoying, and I am quite tired of typing out "people with disabilities" seventeen times a day, often in reference to myself.  "Handy-capable" has the feel of "Freedom Fries," by the by.

*** You see what I mean?  Getting that we don't want to be defined by our disabilities [insert Derrida quote here], I still get exhausted with all the wordplay involved.

**** Because, really, how is "go fuck yourself" an insult?  In fact, I was once told this by an ex-lover, to which I may have replied, if I'd been more quick on my feet, "Well, I suppose that is the way it will go tonight, but I imagine it'll be far more satisfying than any fuckery done with the likes of you."

Works Cited

Brown, Debbie. "A Dissertation Research Proposal Overview." 2010. Unpublished. Print.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Dir. Stanley Kubrick. Video. 1964.

Gillespie, Diane, and Molly Melching. "The Transformative Power of Democracy and Human Rights in Nonformal Education: The Case of Tostan." Adult Education Quarterly XX.X (2010): 1-22. Print

Hall, Stuart. "Cultural Studies and its Theoretical Legacies." Cultural Studies. Ed. Lawrence Grossberg, Cary Nelson, and Paula A. Threichler. New York and London: Routledge, 1992. 277-294. Print.

---. "The West and the Rest: Discourse and Power." Formations of Modernity. Oxford: Polity in Association with Open University, 1992. 276-295. Print.

Hejinian, Lyn. "Figuring Out." How2 1.7 (Spr. 2002). 3 Dec. 2010. Web.

Kant, Immanuel. Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals: On a Supposed Right to Lie Because of Philanthropic Concerns. Trans. James W. Ellington. Indianapolis: Hackett, 1993. Print.

Krabill, Ron. "Surfing Into Zulu." Starring Mandela and Cosby: Media and the End(s) of Apartheid. Chicago: U of Chicago P, 2010. 65-180. Print.

Krabill, Ron, Anjelica Macklin, and Georgia Roberts. "My World Cup." Lecture. University of Washington, Bothell. 7 Dec. 2010.

Martin Sandino, Amanda. Clover. 2010. Unpublished. Print.

---. Dedication. 2008. Unpublished. Print.

---. The (Mostly) True Story of Ms. Bertha P. Collins, Grandmother, Showman, and Sometimes Usurper, as Told By the Terribly Unfortunate, Blister-Thumbed, Hortensia Higgory Hernandez, Volume 1. 2009. Unpublished. Print.

---. Shiver in the Distance. 2007. Unpublished. Print.

"My World Cup: 2010." University of Washington. 7 Dec. 2010. 11 Dec. 2010. Web.

Smith, Neil. “Contours of a Spacialized Politics: Homeless Vehicles and the Production of Geographic Scale.” Social Text 33 (1992): 54-81. Print.

Snyder, Sharon L., and David T. Mitchell. "Conclusion: Compulsory Feral-ization." Cultural Locations of Disability. Chicago and London: U of Chicago P, 2006. 185-203. Print.

Tostan: Community-Led Development. Tostan. 2010. 9 Dec. 2010. Web.

Trouillot, Michel-Rolph. "An Unthinkable History: The Haitian Revolution as a Non-event."Silencing the Past: Power and the Production of History. Boston: Beacon Press, 1995. Print.

Tokyo for Cheap- A Map

Stage One: The Map and Blog Post that Started it All

Subject: Mandy, the Cartographer	Reply Quote Modify Set Flag
Author: Amanda Martin Posted date: Thursday, October 21, 2010 1:51:09 PM PDT Last modified date: Thursday, October 21, 2010 1:51:09 PM PDT Total views: 63  Your views: 12	Next Post ›
Here is the map I made a few years ago after going on the longest walk in history with my friend Kayoko. It was through various districts of Tokyo and full of us getting lost, buying things, and photographs. In any case, I think this map emphasizes quite well how lost we got and how far we went. https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6k4T-d76LB6Uj8imPt8ATOwn0BvDYiltbrvouYFJ260l98bQiXwpECfS4lC4Pis_rOIlfcWoUtVLMlxuuS1x_CMXgt9SPGGf9TNEGN-BvwYoDbBvgwxB_nUKEgbAB_ToPBo8Nfuqk5TA/s1600-h/Map.png Enjoy.

 

Stage Two: The Blog Entry that Started it All...First?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

*Walked EVERYWHERE*

I think Kayoko and I walked for like 3 or 4 hours straight. It was intense. We went from Meiji Jingu Mae to Ebisu Metro Station by foot, and pretty much back. My old old body aches. Crazy men tried to pick us up, and, strangely, we both pretended we didn't speak English ^^*****. Well, you know how it goes.

Here is an artist's map of our route, rendered in lively colors for your enjoyment:



Glaciers, I'm beat. I also got some fun shopping done. Bought Bridget Jones II, the book, because I need something light for the airplane (there is not much that is lighter). Also an Ozaki tribute album (as though you know what I'm referring to ^^*) and THE Spice Girls Album (I guess there were more than one, but only one made number one, yo!). Also got some Matcha Candy at Meiji Jingu. I wanted to get the tea but it basically just looks like normal tree leaves and I didn't think it'd make it past customs. Pooooooh! T.T

Anyway, I's gotta get to bed so's to get up early and bring my sweet self over to Kawagoe. EXHAUSTED.

<3 Posted by Amanda Martin Sandino at 6:21 AM  

Stage Three: The Subway Map

Subject: RE: Mandy, the Cartographer	Reply Quote Modify Set Flag
Author: Amanda Martin Posted date: Saturday, October 30, 2010 10:10:13 PM PDT Last modified date: Saturday, October 30, 2010 10:10:13 PM PDT Total views: 22  Your views: 7	‹ Previous Post | Next Post ›
Show Parent Post Hide Parent Post Author: Amanda Martin Date: Thursday, October 21, 2010 1:53:09 PM PDT Subject: RE: Mandy, the Cartographer Also, I reread my accompanying blog post, and it is a bit amusing. So you can peruse it, if you would like: http://mandyofthesea.blogspot.com/2009/01/walked-everywhere.html tokyo_subway_map.jpg (758.221 Kb) So you can tell where we actually walked, here is a Tokyo subway map. Ah, Tokyo is gigantic. Good luck finding the places-- we went from Meiji Jingu (nearest station= Harajuku), to Ebisu (station= Ebisu) and back to my apartment (Yoyogi Uehara). Actually, they are really nearby each other on this map- though they are farther on foot.

Stage Four: My Second Map
Available here, because I cannot load PDFs to Blogger.

Subject: RE: Mandy, the Cartographer	Reply Quote Modify Set Flag
Author: Amanda Martin Posted date: Saturday, November 13, 2010 7:43:30 PM PST Last modified date: Tuesday, November 16, 2010 8:38:17 PM PST Total views: 31  Your views: 13	‹ Previous Post
Show Parent Post Hide Parent Post Author: Amanda Martin Date: Saturday, October 30, 2010 10:10:13 PM PDT Subject: RE: Mandy, the Cartographer So you can tell where we actually walked, here is a Tokyo subway map. Ah, Tokyo is gigantic. Good luck finding the places-- we went from Meiji Jingu (nearest station= Harajuku), to Ebisu (station= Ebisu) and back to my apartment (Yoyogi Uehara). Actually, they are really nearby each other on this map- though they are farther on foot. TokyoSubwayMap.pdf (3.663 Mb) So, I was more inspired to mark up the previously linked Tokyo Subway map to more or less match (and add to) the map I made showing my walking tour. This post largely draws on the radical mapping ideas/concepts presented in An Atlas of Radical Cartography-- let's just say I was quite inspired. The marked up map instead marks everywhere I traveled while living in Japan. The point is not to make you see how cool I am (though I am pretty cool), but to make us think about 1) WHO this map was really made for, 2) what this map does not show, 3) what this map highlights. First off, this map is definitely not for people who are native Tokyo-ites or people living in Tokyo for the long-term who speak Japanese. Notice how the map is marked A-F, 1-4 in the margins. I updated this aspect to be instead (or actually, in addition, because I had some computer troubles)あーか and 一　through 四 using the Japanese alphabet in hiragana and kanji numbering. Secondly, look at the key at the bottom. What sites are being highlighted? * Tokyo Tower (an architectural feat) [dark side-- people have been known to get crushed in the doors. This is also located in one of the most theft-heavy areas of Tokyo] * Ueno Zoo (largest zoo in Japan-- really crowded by the by) [Ueno Zoo-- overcrowded and said to abuse animals] * Tokyo Dome (large sports venue, but also a musical and events venue) [insanely expensive, and the subway line there is super dirty-- usually smells of vomit] * Meiji Jingu Shrine (cultural and religious site-- also a big spot for cosplayers)[this shrine was actually rebuilt in the 1950's, though it is still marketed as being hundreds of years old. Also, you have to go on the vomit-y subway line] * Tsukiji Fish Market (famous for having "freshest fish in Tokyo"- sushi places go here early early to get fish)[Well, I'm not sure what you would do here as a vegetarian, but then again, I never went] * Imperial Palace (where the Emperor lives... more or less)[You pretty much have to walk for forever from the subway. Also, there is a museum commemorating Japanese WWII victories along the way- which seems kinda problematic to me] * "Electrical Goods" (Akihabara is marked this way- it is famous for having lots of computer things, and is also otaku central-- lots of cheap cosplay items)[Akihabara is known for so much more than electrical goods! Like free anime stuff all over!] * Kaminari Mon (old old Japanese buildings, market, shrine, not-so-old amusement park, and a Hollywood-like hands in the cement thing for kabuki stars)[I'm actually pretty happy with this one. Many different things to do. Although, if you want to see Kaminari Mon itself- which is a gate- prepare to be disappointed. It is behind a fence so thick that you can't see much on account of vandalism] * Narita Airport (one of two Japanese international airports)[The map is really deceptive here- Narita airport is about an hour and a half out of Tokyo on a bullet train] * Tokyo Disneyland (Tokyo Disneyland is famously NOT in Tokyo but Chiba)[Not in Tokyo either, and much farther away than, say, Ghibli Land] * KDD Otemachi Office (big place for business travelers to go for work)[Um, there isn't really anything to see in Otemachi. Unless you need to go to a bank. And it is REALLY easy to get lost] * KDD Shinjuku Office (see above)[At least Shinjuku has some culture, but still, this is pretty obviously aimed at visiting businessfolks.] Now, what is most annoying, is that most of these sites are super commercialized and cater to English-speaking tourists (which is not to say they do not get a huge number of Japanese tourists and non-English-speaking international tourists as well). But certain things are pretty obviously aimed at American tourists, such as Tokyo Disneyland; Ghibli Land is similarly a theme park based on an animation franchise, but actually a Japan-based animation franchise, and might have also or instead appeared (it is in Mitaka, which must be on the map somewhere, but was really hard to find, even knowing where it is). Also, things like Shinjuku Station, the busiest (and largest) train station in the world, is not highlighted at all (though the rarely used Haneda airport is shown). If I was going to replace these sites, I would instead highlight: 1. Shibuya Station- Hachiko statue is here! 2. Shinjuku Station- cost of travel (above)** I lied, Hachiko is at Shibuya station 3. Roppongi street musician and celebrity watching sitting place- free (versus Tokyo Tower, which is really expensive) 4. Yanaka- Old old graveyard, also the guardian animal of this area is the cat, so the community takes care of a large number of stray cats. If you go to the stray cat center, you can help feed, groom, and play with the cats-- all for free. 5. Tennozu Isle- Ah, it sounds so nice, but it is actually a big place for storing trash. There is also a ton of graffiti. Also, where one must go if you want a stamp to visit Korea. You may have figured, but most of the sites included above are pretty durned clean-- they make Japan look "perfect" in a Big Brother type way. Free. 6. Mitaka- To go see the Ghibli Museum! It is about $15 or so, and well worth it. You also get a movie ticket with the price of admission. 7. Ikebukuro- They have a festival here pretty much every weekend. I went to one that celebrated the opening of a new business. And it was a HUGE festival. 8. Ueno- The zoo is terribly busy and I'm told the animals are known to be mistreated (i.e. prodded if they fall asleep during the day, because it is bad for business). So, it is better to go see the gigantic "America Town" and buy "authentic American goods." Or, you know, not buy them- because they really don't seem authentic. I actually saw a U.S. flag that used purple instead of blue. Good times. Thirdly, which subway lines are depicted on this map? As Martha already mentioned, these are ONLY private lines being depicted, the public JR lines (i.e. the cheaper ones that Mandy usually took to save money) only appear as a dotted line across the map (and the tracks extend far beyond what is depicted). So, the map in An Atlas of Radical Cartography depicting "Latino/A America" got me thinking of the personal element to mapping as well. I think that an interesting future project would be to more Google Maps-y document these places in Tokyo, and include personal stories that link, such as the blog posts I wrote for those days. In any case, the readings this week have made me a lot more conscious about how maps are political. After all, this Tokyo Subway Map included Tsukiji fish market and a zoo that abuses its animals-- kinda makes me want to go out and protest, anyway.

Stage Five: The New Map


View Tokyo- Cheap in a larger map

Gabriel García Márquez Quote

When it was opened by the giant, the chest gave off a glacial exhalation. Inside there was only an enormous, transparent block with infinite internal needles in which the light of the sunset was broken up into colored stars. Disconcerted, knowing that the children were waiting for an immediate explanation, José Arcadio Buendía ventured a murmur:

“It’s the largest diamond in the world.”

“No,” the gypsy countered. “It’s ice.”

José Arcadio Buendía, without understanding, stretched out his hand toward the cake, but the giant moved it away. “Five reales more to touch it,” he said. José Arcadio Buendía paid them and put his hand on the ice and held it there for several minutes as his heart filled with fear and jubilation at the contact with mystery. Without knowing what to say, he paid ten reales more so that his sons could have that prodigious experience. Little José Arcadio refused to touch it. Aureliano, on the other hand, took a step forward and put his hand on it, withdrawing it immediately. “It’s boiling,” he exclaimed, startled. But his father paid no attention to him. Intoxicated by the evidence of the miracle, he forgot at that moment about the frustration of his delirious undertakings and Melquíades’ body, abandoned to the appetite of the squids. He paid another five reales and with his hand on the cake, as if giving testimony on the holy scriptures, he exclaimed:

“This is the great invention of our time.”

- Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Nanowrimo 2010

I just hit 50,000 words, which means, I have won Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) for the fourth year in a row.  Woo hoo!  Anyway, for fun, here is a word cloud of my novel.  The words on this cloud are what I use the most throughout the book.  Kinda embarrassing really, but it is still fun :)

 

Explanation on some of these puppies:

• Ryo is NOT the main character, but the main character's lover.  The book is written in first person and the word "I" is eliminated (as are all of the most common words in the English language).
• The main character uses the word "really" and "pretty" and "just" an awful lot in his narrative.  I felt self-conscious about it for a bit, but whatever.  I use them a lot when I talk too, so I suppose it is just normal.
• "One"?  I have no clue.  I must've said it a lot, but I can't think of a single instance.  Can't think of (wait for it) ONE instance.
• "Know" and "knew"- that's more from things that avoid omnipotent narrator stuff.  "I knew he was upset because he was crying," except not that lame.  Same goes for think
• "Anyway"is on there twice.  He says that a lot.  "Anyway" and "real" were speech habit choices, as were "really" and "pretty," so I don't feel one bit bad.
• Lily is also a character.
• "Blood"- ha!  Oh dear.  I don't want that on my word cloud. 

Feel free to ask away. I am curious as well!!!

Towel thief!

The unimaginable happened at the gym yesterday.  The UNTHINKABLE.  The everyone's worst nightmare at the gym ness.  For reals.  Someone stole my towel while I was in the shower.

Now I knew they were plotting against my towel, vicious childlings.  I could hear one say she had forgot her towel, then the other say to just take one on the other side.  So I kept checking my towel and glaring at the girls.  But then, when I went to check the last time, it was GONE. 

Okay okay.  While it isn't pleasant walking across locker room's in one's birthday suit, I sucked it up (and sucked it in, if you know what I mean).  I got a few weird looks, which I am now going to reinterpret as ogling and appreciative looks.  But it was more or less okay.  I am not scarred for life.

The trouble is, I think I've probably caught my death.  I couldn't dry off, you see.  So, of course, I couldn't put on my fancy outfit and get them all soaked.  I put my somewhat soggy workout pants, that became more soaked by my general wetness.  Then put on a clean tshirt.  And went out out out into the cold as ass night.

I am sure I was mere seconds from having my hair freeze to my head.  Being soaked and out in freezing weather is pretty much the coldest thing you can ever imagine.  I STILL feel cold, and it's been twenty-four hours! 

Suffice to say, I got a hot chocolate to warm myself up.  But if I ever see those punks again, they are GETTING it.  By which I mean, I will glare at them some more and keep my towel in the shower with me.  Wet or not, it's better than getting freezing and walking across the locker room naked at peak hours all in the same day.  Rawr.

hands

hand
fingers spread
only mountains
growing steeper

getting closer
becoming more
than simple beat
syncopated

interesting sounds
childhood blankets
empty diaries
suddenly filled

hopeful noises
at a disco beat
surprisingly sweet
fingers clasped

hands.

Not applying to stupid Berkeley!

Yeah, Berkeley can kiss my Latina booty. 

Somehow I missed it, but those you-know-whats apparently require the GRE English Literature test.  Note on the "English" part, okay.  For I shall tell you many reasons for why this is a very good reason to not apply.  Another reason is that awful sentence.  But I digress.

Why the GRE English Literature Test can crawl in a hole and die:

1.  This test is in addition to the GRE general test, which is already quite awful.  I'm not sure if I complained on this blog (in addition to my other), but the ETS pretty much denied me disabilities accommodations.  They didn't "actually" do it- just requested a very unreasonable (and my disability advisor says illegal) amount of paperwork.  That test is ableist, sexist, racist, and other "ists" in a bad way.  It is also super expensive- $160.  So, how much is the English subject test, you ask?  Oh my, an addition $140-$160 according to ETS.  Which puts my Berkeley application at about $300 to apply to.  Yuck.
2. The English subject test is described as follows: "Each edition of the test consists of approximately 230 questions on poetry, drama, biography, the essay, the short story, the novel, criticism, literary theory and the history of the language" (emphasis mine).  By "the language," I assume they mean English.  Yet one of the texts they claim to draw from is "the Bible."  I wonder- which Bible?  I assume not the Jewish one.  Oh, and what language was the Christian Bible written in originally?  English?!  That is certainly the suggestion.  But if we are opening it up for works in translation, I'd sure like to see some secular literature.  
3. The test, like so many things in US society, is divided into British, U.S. American, and "other."  Nice.

Well, I got tired.  But I am not applying to stupid Berkeley anymore.  They can suck my clit, punks.

dream a little dream of me

I actually just have that song in my head.  Anyway, has nothing to do with anything on my mind.

Honestly, there isn't much going on that is interesting.  Busy busy, as usual.  Nanowrimo is coming up (Monday yeek!), so I had better try to get as much done for my PhD apps this weekend as is humanly possible.  Which basically means putting together my statements of purpose (statement of purposes?) from the generic one I made this week, editing writing samples, finalizing my CV, getting my letter of recc info form filled out, doing a research statement, and probably a few other things that I am forgetting.  Basically, I am hoping to get a portion of this done this weekend, and finishing Veteran's Day weekend.

That is the genius plan.

I also need to start writing some more poetry, but I suppose Nano-ing it up doesn't help much in that regard.  I'm planning to do vignettes this year for a sci fi thing.  Easier than going the general fiction route.  Tried to get steam up for a collaborative novel, but people seem to be convinced they are too busy for that even :| 

Well, at least I can go to bed at a decent hour tonight and get up later than usual.  Let's make a to do list- yay!

Tomorrow:
Finish readings and post for colloquium
Post for BG's class
Write mini-paper "cook book" assignment for BG's class
Write research statements, finish CV, start statement of purpose editing

Sunday:
Read two chapters for human capital group
Meet with DB to plan for facilitation
Edit as many papers are possible

Ugh, I don't want to.  There, I've written it, and now you know.

editing poems

feedback is appreciated!  unless it is "ur stupid," which is just silly.  Because I will simply erase it-- and feel powerful doing so!

3:15 1-

her joy was in motion
tangible with magicks
knowing every creature
with all the movements
in the mystery of the reality
that bumblebees cannot fly
(scientifically speaking)



3:15 8-

Noise of falling rain
Falling stars- asteroids
That coldness spreading
the bottled-up energies
used to power our night images
those children of rational parents
who don't know what we all accept
the man on the moon is a dark woman
with hazel eyes and silver hair
wearing a twinkling black and starry dress
sending down those stars
just so we make wishes

3:15 12-
swish of freeway
wind maybe but
that air is cold
sound of coldness
sneaking into
warning all away

the warm cats
that knitted blanket
cozy cozy comfortable
shhh that hungry ghost sound
that cold liquid diet sound
maybe just a motorbike
because maybe maybe
it was the freeway
all a long

3:15 17-
industriously
the little ones build up
ward to the moon you
sing recycled materials
stacked up and up up
fused with only spit
and it only it were a little
cooler we'd be done

3:15 22-
ibuprofen
go to sleep
hate for you
as to weak
intensification
all your sisters
and all your brothers
and your family going back
seventeen generations back
all hated
this murderous intent
toward you and yours
all your kinfolk
not your fault (maybe)
that you someone
got this rep around you
having some influence
over those nerves
you nothing thing
stay in those damned bottles
and let you drown

3:15 26-
breathing lessons come to an end
fumes of the world enter and transform
combing themselves into pure thought.
but let's us give it back, mija,
throw it back to the ocean like a small fish
let go of this bit of something godly
we will find it all someday.

To think about

and be not so thrilled to hear!

From PostSecret:

A bit of light reading

Well, I'm not sure how it's come to this so early in the quarter, but I have once again come to a "light reading" phase. 

Essentially, every quarter or so, I end up rereading children's and/or other easy books.  I just get too exhausted to read any general fiction.  Our book club is reading a book about Japanese Internment right now, and I just can't see having the energy to put up with feeling sad for it.  I know it will make me cry, so I am avoiding it :|  How's that for politically unsavvy?

Usually, I reread Howl's Moving Castle, Me Talk Pretty One Day, both of Alan Alda's autobios, Transformation (Carol Berg one), and a few others.  I am rereading a romance (le gasp!) ... or I guess I was-- I finished it again today.  A Japanese romance/supernatural book called Be With You (don't feel like clicking the flag at the top to write the Japanese title right now). 

Anyway, so I'm trying to find some other Japanese romances.  Or light books in general.  Am reading Voyage of the Dawn Treader for December's book club, which is, yes, a Narnia book.  I also am happy that Bryson's In a Sunburned Country is our January book, as that is another rereader during stressful times.

Anyway, let me know what other books are good!  Nothing too emotional or complicated.  Funny, light romance, children's- let's hear 'em!

Crazy Weekend

And not in a "we drove to Tiajuana and don't remember what happened after that" way. More in a "was so busy I had a headache the whole time" way.

Friday was GRE studying (last minute) and book club.

Saturday was GRE taking plus midterm grading plus a play (hurrah for Albee).

Sunday was finishing of midterm grading, Emmy watching, semi-cooking, essay reading, homework posting, book for school reading madness.

So much to be done! I wish I could post something more interesting. Did decent on my GRE, definitely better than last time. Midterms were a trip-- kids didn't know what The Holocaust was v.v

At least the Holidays are coming up. As in, Halloween, Thanksgiving, my Bday, and the Christmas. I am excited to have Christmas with Emmy :) Plus, we may be going to Disney World early next year. That would be super lovely, I think. Want to go to Hogwarts Land or Harry Potter Land or whatever it is called.

Anyway, the Emmy was definitely a highlight for this weekend. We still haven't made it through all of Elmo in Grouchland, but I am learning the first three songs pretty well.  Mandy Patinkin is a riot! :D

Stressed Out!

There you have it, I am stressed out. And really, I am too busy to post anything, thus the lame-o post I did IN CLASS (which was a class assignment thing, and for which we were given about 5 minutes). Lordy, I need to get my writing sample together so I can mail it in and have it ready for workshopping and editing at the Writing Center tomorrow.

The "final final" college list has shifted YET AGAIN. UCSB Lit program required a GRE subject test, which means they super look at that shit. It shouldn't be important, and it is important to me that it not be important :)

Also, I have noticed that I seem to curse more the tired-er I am. Oh noes!

In any case, I am getting together two writing samples (got to total 25 pages together for one program, so I'm doing one ten page and one fifteen page). Have my CV more or less together. GRE is Saturday. Then I have to do my statement of purposes. Apps. themselves should probably be done this Sunday come to think of it-- get my letters of recommendation "official requests" out with a few months before they're due. Oy!

A few other things to get together. My MFA writing samples, for one. Have some poetry editing to do. I should probably send my edits to J as well, who is my advisor. Also, I think I need to do some research statements, and a few random other stuff. Need to do a general statement about having a disability and it affecting GRE scores. Ugh.

Plus, I need to update my capstone proposal, write an autoethnographic paper, do another auto paper on the GRE, get some more poetry written toward my chapbook, and do more than one collab project, because I really just can't say no to a good collab.

Shoot, I also need to call all the admissions counselors for the programs to see if they have any suggestions. Ugh, putting it off 'til next week. Then, if I find out the GRE is important and my score is uber crap, I can end up not applying. Bother.

So anyway, I am stressed.

In-Class Writing

Prompt

Argue that:
Consumers have control over the images that fashion their lives. Consumers take commodities and reshape them to give them their own meaning. Social values drive economic values and choices. We have agency.

If social values did not drive economic values, there would be no organic food movement. People value their bodies, so use of products, however highly publicized, go down as we know the ramifications they have on bodies in the long run. For example, we now know that smoking cigarettes can lead to lung cancer, emphysema, and other lung diseases, yet the opposite was believed sixty years ago. While the effects of consuming GMFs remain debatable/not 100% determined yet, the question of it possibly being terrible for you effects the way populations view nonorganic foods.

--cheers?

Final Final List

A few added progs. from my advisors (I decided to repost, since my one reader wasn't looking back at the old post to see if it changed ^^*)

University of Washington Seattle:
Comp. Lit. (PhD)
English (PhD)
Geography (PhD)
Women's Studies (PhD)

Washington State U:
American Studies (PhD)

UCSD:
Writing (MFA)
Literature (PhD)

CalArts:
Writing (MFA)

University of San Francisco:
Writing (MFA)

University of British Columbia:
Women's and Gender Studies (PhD)

University of Oregon:
Comp. Lit. (PhD)
English (PhD)
Philosophy (PhD)

UC Berkeley:
English (PhD)

San Francisco State:
Creative Writing (MFA)

UC Davis:
Cultural Studies (PhD)

hmm...

I can't think of anything to write about today, but I'm trying to do a post a day for a while, if I can.  Yet, I think if I force myself to write something tonight, it will end up being about TV.  And then you will judge me!

I am reading Susan Sontag's Regarding the Pain of Others, and am pretty irritated by her, to be perfectly honest.  She definitely has some interesting points, but she elevates photography so much over other art/creation forms that I keep getting annoyed.  Is it any surprise that she is a photographer?  Plus, she keeps mentioning these photographs, but none of them were included in the book-- what the heck?  I don't want to look them up, because they are all war and torture images, but I feel like I should know what she is talking about.

And, if she is so sure that these things can't be expressed in words, why the devil did she write essays about them rather than including the photographs themselves?  It is like she directly countered herself through her methodology!

I don't mean to say that I find words more powerful than photographs- I just think that we see so much more than we read (and we read a lot), that we become apathetic to powerful images.  Sontag argues against this in the case of religious iconography for the truly spiritual- but what the devil does she mean by that?  I have a crucifix on my wall, and I mostly just see it in my peripheral- I don't even think of it as a man being tortured (much less the son of God being tortured).  You have to focus on it to feel something, if at all.

Bother, but this is a boring post.  And it really belongs on my pain blog.  I suppose I'll do a longer posting there once I've finished the book.

boring books

What is it with profs assigning boring ass books lately? I'm sorry, but at this point, the Human Rights: Politics & Practice book I'm reading along with the class I'm TAing for is seeming pretty damn interesting.  Which is saying a lot, on account of reading the human rights text is all review-- I know all of this already, it's just seeing what the students should know for their responses. 

So, the first week of school, I read the lovely lovely Ananya Roy's Poverty Capital.  Now, Roy was a wonderful speaker-- I had the distinct pleasuring of hearing her lecture on her book just after I read the text.  I understand her point in throwing so many different stories about microfinance at the reader, making us recognize that there is no one microfinance narrative and all, but the whole thing was quite overwhelming.  So many numbers, statistics, in short, DATA.  Oh my!  For a qualitative researcher (and poet), the whole book was just a headache waiting to migraine-ify.

Not to say that I didn't get quite a lot out of it.  I certainly learned a lot, it's just that it was hard to take everything in.  I'm sure I also lost quite a bit!

Then came this weekend's reading, which was DuPuis' Nature's Perfect Food, a book about... wait for it... milk.  You may be surprised to learn that milk isn't half as interesting as it sounds.  I might then add that milk sounds not a bit interesting to me, so you can imagine how exciting this weekend was.  The only time I got really excited was when I found out that the chemicals used to produce strawberries are extremely toxic, and that it is widely agreed upon that nobody ought eat nonorganic strawberries.  Oh noes!  They don't sell organic strawberries at my grocery store!  Where the devil can I procure these sweet-lipped beauties?  (wait, that sounded a bit like the opening to a romance that wants to be a porno).

Thank goodness that book is over.  But still I am reading yet another book for the human rights class I'm TAing for, which sounds interesting, as it's about a woman who does human rights work in Brazil.  Unfortunately, at page 40, she has pretty much just gone around being horny and never getting laid.  It's all quite boring.  I'm quite curious when this is actually going to teach me something.  It is literally the most boring of the three very boring books I've listed.  The book is called Dance Lest We All Fall Down, but, despite the lovely title, it is agonizing!  I'm hoping it will pick up when she starts doing activist work of some kind.  Or maybe she'll actually get laid as opposed to just drooling over random men and occasionally kissing them (before promptly leaving the country).

Anyway, I'm hoping to get the readings for HR done tonight, so I can focus on Susan Sontag's Regarding the Pain of Others tomorrow.  Oooh, now there is a page turner!  I will write more on it when I actually... you know... read it... In the mean time, wish me luck with Dance...! ¡Ay carajo!

Umbrella

Side note, this fashion blogger from Toronto posted pics of the umbrella I have.  Now you can see why I am in need of an umbrella repair shop!  Do you think there are any in the area?  Oh, we have become so wasteful :'(

Isn't it the most beautiful umbrella ever?!

UWS Women Studies

I met with the grad school counselor on Thursday (ugh, more on Thursday later).  She was quite lovely.  Somehow, my appointment was misplaced, but she still made time for me :)  You know when you meet someone, and you know right away that you could get along swimmingly?  I feel like we should be friends, which I am going to take as an indicator that I shall get in (you know, unless it will jinx me, in which case, psych!).

Anyway, she told me that the GRE scores are NOT important for this program.  In fact, she told me that last year, a student got in with lower than a 300 on the English portion (which is pretty durned low).  She explained that the whole attitude toward the GRE in UWSWS (UW Seattle Women Studies) is that the score more represents how your day was going than anything else.

This is completely true for me!  My neck was just hurting so terribly the day I took the test (stress, lack of sleep, then sitting for four hours), I couldn't focus.  At the end, I was just choosing answers at random to get through the durn thing.  My math score was much higher, which mostly just indicates that that was the first section I took!

So, I'm feeling much better about my chances now.  Plus, the counselor told me that more like 70-80 people apply to the program, versus the 200+ I believed applied.  So, I am going to meet with my second reader (who, yes, is a prof in UWSWS) on Tuesday, and will beg her to write me a letter of recommendation.  I am hoping it will go far!  Plus plus, the counselor knew my advisor and apparently loves him (but really, who doesn't?), so I'm feeling good that his letter will go far. 

Really, though, that meeting was the best thing about that day.  Although I did meet with my CA (capstone advisor, versus my other advisor, who is for my portfolio- yes, you get two in my program), which was quite lovely.  We are both so bad at navigating bureaucracy, it is hilarious!  But, honestly, what can you expect of poets?

Anyway, I forgot both my coat AND my lunch on Thursday.  And, of course, it rained (and my umbrella apparently is broken-- do they have umbrella repair shops?  I really do love my beautiful cherry blossom umbrella) and I had to walk A LOT.

First though, I had a meeting for a certain editorial board on which I will be serving (not very fancy, mind you, almost anyone can do it, but I am trying to be "discreet" by not including the name).  Apparently, I cannot submit my own work now, because it would be a "conflict of interest."  Oh boy.

And one of the other people serving is in the class I'm TAing for, and she was NOT HAPPY about her grade last week.  She was complaining that the professor is a hard grader and I (yes yes, a bit foolishly) admitted that I do all the grading (it does, in fact, say it straight out that I do the grading on our syllabus).  That might be a REAL conflict of interest, so I will check with the prof.

Grading itself was unpleasant this week.  Many people had trouble understanding the difference between international relations theory and domestic policies.  Oh dear...

Back to Thursday though, I was "running" class since the prof was out, and we watched a film on the Rwandan Genocide (not Hotel Rwanda, but a documentary).  Not a cheery film.  Many corpses.  I felt quite guilty, despite being in grade school at the time.  Tsk tsk, Mr. Clinton.

Then I drove to UW Seattle, and had to walk (in the rain) about a mile to the Burke Museum to meet my prof.  After that, I walked in the rain about another half mile to the crazy anti-riot building that is Padelford (it is impossible NOT to get lost) to meet the UWSWS counselor.  Then I walked (still in the rain) to my mama's building (about another mile in the now pouring rain).

Needless to say I was soaked and, on account of wearing heels since I wanted to look fancy for teaching class, blistered up.  I felt pretty terrible, so mama and I skipped the poetry reading I'd been looking forward to all week.

To end on a happy note, I am feeling cautiously optimistic about PhD programs.  I will know for sure where I'm in by the end of APRIL.  Wish me luck!

I Would Like a Pet Cow

Because she is sooooo cute!

Mandy's Week

L asked for it, and the Mandy abides (I am very much like the dude, though I have not seen the Big Lebowski).

~*MONDAY*~

8AM- Wake up!  Get dressed, do my hairs and make ups, hopefully grab my lunch from the fridge, and head to work.  Oh, and put Eloise out so she doesn't destroy the house!  Tsk tsk.

9AM- Arrive at work (more or ... less....).  Do work...  'hem 'hem.

12PM- Eat the lunch or, more likely, pick up library books, print articles, do homework, meet with professors, etc.  T.T Mine is a sad life.  (le sob!)

1PM- Go to the OIR Reporting Group meeting and take minutes.  Try to stay awake while not understanding any of the data talk (this is still at work, btw).

3:30- Be freed from work- hallelujah!  I have been going to the gym, but alas, will now have to stay on campus for an hour, doing homework or something.

4:30- (from next week on) Directed research group on human capital.  With the wonderful DJ (initials... he's not actually a disc jockey, as far as I know).  I am mostly reading up on the robbery of doctors from "third world" to "first world" countries.  Not really robbery, but you know, the whole "brain drain" from Southern Africa and South Asia.

5:30- Work out like a mad bat out of hell!  Because I have got to get ready quick, you see!

7:30- be at Japanese class.  Stay awake!

9:30- arrive home and do homeworks.

12AM- go to sleep!


Note: I may be meeting with a prof for an internship every Monday at 8am.  Oh noes!



~*Tuesday*~

8AM- Wake up and all that jazz.

9AM- be at work. it pretty much proceeds the same until...

3:30 - if I am lucky, go work out.  More likely, run to make an appointment of some kind or go to a class.  Sigh!

5:45- My big core class for cultural studies.  Meet all my cohorties and party like it's 1999.  Do critical thinking and stuff.  Hopefully drink coffee.

10:15-ish - arrive home and watch something on TV with the mama.  Eat dinner.

12AM- go to bed.



~*Wednesday*~

somewhere between 8-10AM- Wake up and go to PT.  Pet the doggy, Mogul, and do crazy exercises that leave my shoulders hurting

11-1ish- meetings for getting PhD stuff done.  Possibly homework?  I dunno.  It is confusing, this day.

1:45- Tai Chi and Qigong, then work out for reals if I have time?

3-4-5-ish appts? 

after that... HOMEWORK!  and at some point go to bed... Wednesday is mostly a day for fitting in appointments.


~*Thursday*~

9-5 Work (whoa... like a real ass day)

11- take my lunch and go to the class I TA for to pick up papers. 

5- work out!

after that... homeworks!


~*Friday*~

more appts...  including Policy Journal Editorial Board meeting at 11.  And usually PT at some point.  And working out at some point.  This is also a huge homework day for me.  HUGE.

~*Saturday*~

Usually, we have the Emmy at some point.  I work out at some point.  I somehow rarely get any homework done on Saturdays between the Emmy and the working out :| which makes no sense.  But then at night, I tend to stay up super late to try and make up for it.  Oh dears.

~*Sunday*~

Well, I am going to start going to church with D again.  It is a nice church where they are gay-happy (see how I did that, using to synonyms in a row?)- anyway, they are queer-friendly, so that makes me happy.  And the "sermons" are quite good-- people are nice too!  It actually reminds me of L's temple :)  nice environment like that.  I don't know, I think it is just nice to take in some spirituality and maybe it is a little hypocritical not to care which religion it is, but I care an awful lot what they're talking about. 

Also, this is a big homework day v.v as usual.


I don't sound as busy as I am!  Gah, am soooo busy!  Just take my word for it!  rawr!