Friday, December 19, 2008

*Wah, I Didn't Post Yesterday!*

I have a brilliant excuse, I went to bed at 8:30. Or, maybe that isn't so brilliant... but since I hadn't slept for a couple days more than a couple hours, being awake seemed like a rotten idea at the time and continued to manifest itself thusly in my brain for many, many hours. My tests went alright, but I've another on Monday in a different class, so I mustn't be pleased yet or the gods will hear me and smite me with an F.

If only they'd consider plagues instead. Be careful what you wish for? Monkey's Paw? That's an obscure reference...

I finally thought of a funny story to relate to you all, but then it slipped my mind, possibly because I was soapy at the time (not intended to arouse sexy thoughts). I was actually washing my face. Now, it's going to drive me crazy. If I keep writing randomness, it might come to me. But first, I think I should brush my teeth, because I hate brushing my teeth grrr. If my teeth weren't so important for mashing together in a threatening gesture (gesture, really? That can't be the word I'm wanting to use), then I'd skip the whole process and let them ROT.

(brief interlude)

My teeth are now clean. It was my first time using Japanese toothpaste. The one I bought is called "White White," which I assumed could only be a toothpaste, or some sort of random racist product (there was a book at the bookstore about a little African boy and his family learning to be civilized >.<). I was so out of it, despite the zillion hours of sleep, that I couldn't really form a sentence together. I needed to make sure I wasn't putting denture cleaner on my natural tooths (teeth is such an ugly word), so I asked the lady what translates to, "This...wash the teeth?"

Oh, school has taught me to be so eloquent. Take a deep breath of pride. Release it and cry? Anyway, it's a rotten sort of thing to have to think out when you're all achy from studying so much. I can actually say "is this used for washing teeth?" but it didn't come to me at that particular moment in time. The lady was awful nice about it though (and I'm randomly Charlie Brown).

I don't know how to say "brush teeth." It might actually just be "wash teeth." Don't know...

We have a speech in Japanese after I get back. I think I complained about it already, but it's worth a few more minutes of whining, at least. Anyway, the point of bringing it up is to figure out what I ought to talk about. It's open topic- my worst subject. Seriously. Honest to goodness, I just can't come up with anything when it can be ANYTHING (literally).

I wanted to just translate a short story, but I think they might grade me down even though the process is the same minus non-Japanese type thinking. Er. You know, like composing the actual info isn't important for a Japanese language class.

Wouldn't it be awesomer to just translate Poe into Japanese? Wouldn't it be EVEN awesomer of awesomer was a word?

BTW, I hope you realize that I utilize a lot of fake words. I know they're fake. I'm attempting to invent them. Then I'll be immortal 'cause the OED will have to put my name in the etymology section. Sweet.

So, here are my thoughts for the speech, and, yes, I know they're weird. That is, randomly so, the point:
*The SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Life) Program and the "Wow!" signal
*Some famous murderer, like a serial killer (Jack the Ripper or John Wayne Gacy Jr.) or maybe whatshername.... shoot... what IS her name? Ah! I remembered the newspaper that the man she killed worked for (Le Figaro) and got to her: Henriette Caillaux. She killed Gaston Calmette, the editor of the newspaper, for writing against her husband's politics. Or some other interesting murderess. Gah, genderized speech gyah! Rewrite: "Or some other interesting female murderer."
*Some sort of animal. One that eats things I can say. I'm thinking the Vampire Bat.
*Some sort of witty story from my youth, that came to me whilst I was washing my face and flew away, like a vampire bat, which needn't be capitalized.

??? Other ideas? Do those work for speeches? I'd rather just translate MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech if it has to be a speech. Ugh. I don't think they care tho.

All I can think are witty one-liner type things. I brought a book about poisons to work and read it during my lunch break one week. I was working at Starbucks. Ha. Apparently if you eat too much onion, you can die. Nifty.

I thought about writing something about trying to jump into the dolphin tank when I was a munchkin, but I don't actually remember it. I'd be plagiarizing my momma. Which you really shouldn't do because, no matter what your age, she's still got the right to whap your butt.

We used to call the playground attendant people (what are they actually called?) "duties." But I thought it was "doodies." Like poop. Ha. (Not funny v.v fail)

Some kids in Japanese today did they're skit like a zombie movie in Japanese. It was really funny. But that definitely wasn't what I was thinking about. I just thought I'd tell you. I don't think they'll get a good grade because they didn't use any keigo (uber honorific speech) and I think the teachers wanted us to, but it was really funny. Pooh on the teaches. Use your accent, and that's grammatically correct.

I'm sure if I rewrote it well enough, the incident with the fire alarm men could be funny, but I'm still terrified that it will happen again. Gah, I had another nightmare about being murdered last night. 'cept I wasn't actually murdered 'cause my alarm woke me up. Hoorah.

Oh, btw, I read Walk Two Moons and the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler this week. They were both good, the prior was very very sad though. And they tell you something at the beginning and spend the rest of the book trying to trick you into believing that it wasn't true and then reveal it again at the end. Which was kinda lame, because I remembered that they told me that. Anyway, it was depressing.

My drama teacher got in a car accident, or someone she knows well did, so there was no class today. I'm really worried because I like her a lot, and I hope she's okay! But I won't find out until next month. Good luck, Prof. Boyd!

I want to write an autobio type short story thingy like David Sedaris, but I can't think of anything amusing. Now I'm depressed because I think it must mean that my life is completely serious gah! But that can't be true! Gah!

It'll come to me. It'll come to me, dangnabbit!


Edit: Dang, I was gonna do this bit about how awful Japanese toothpaste is and segway (I think that's the motor bike thingy, not the word spelling) to chauvinism, and then slip in a quote from the M*A*S*H episode "Hawkeye": "There's no vinism like chauvinism." It was just amusing... well, pooh. You still get love, <3

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