So, I went to a different doctor today, and long story-short, she suggested drinking salt water to relieve my sore throat's general achey-ness (I think that might actually be a real word when spelt properly. Although spelled spelt spelled apparently works, but may mean something entirely different). Here go the works of my mind:
1) Robinson Crusoe crazy hell readingness reminds me of RC's enormous trek for water away from the ocean.
2) Because the sea water don't cut it. Same as in all those adventurer media things. Except in desert survival stories, because mirage water merely nonexists, not exists in a salt-like capacity.
3) Ergo, doctor (non-regular) wants to kill me via salt water poisoning.
These are severe problems. Let us consult the internet rather than MD-bearing Nazi woman.
Acc. Earth Clinic's home cure/remedy/thingamagig, you merely gurgle the stuff. Well, I TRIED that and it did nothing, or, as one unpleasant... er... dissatisfied poster commented:
""the salt and water so works.......wrong! it hurt my throat even worst.""
Thanks for that eloquent moment, Sara from Jacksonville. Then again, who am I to talk?
Moving on, let's keep trying these remedies and see what actually works. Let's just throw it out there that we've tried gargling other things, such as lemon juice in the raw (btw, OW), and drunk boatloads of teas and water, AND consumed more than the recommended amount of cough drops. Though now am full of like 1000% daily value of VItamin C, as cough drops randomly are chock full of that stuff.
Ok, so Earth Clinic random posters, who are my highest medical authority, also recommend..
#1: Pickle Juice Brine.
What the hey-ho-heck is "brine?" Cannot be liquid IN pickle jar, can it? Oh hell of hells, that sounds nasty. Do we even have pickles?
Back. So, have pickle juice but, alas, comes in pickle jar aka hardest thing to open EVUH. I'll be back once I've herniated myself trying, at which point we'll attempt home remedies for that. Ew.
Well, that's done. So... bottom's up? Ew. That stuff tastes god-awful. Throat still hurts.
PICKLE JUICE= FAIL
Unless I have to wait. Ugh, will wait five minutes and return to you. Then we'll try
#2: Oh crap, apparently pickle juice was way further down on the list. Gr. So, we'll try
TRUE #1: Apple Cider Vinegar
Which just sounds even more thrilling than the pickle juice. Ugh. Why can't any of these be, like, orange juice or something else tasty? Think will be sick from pickle juice, ew.
OK, so obligatory five minutes have passed and pain has, in fact, worsened. Can barely swallow and want to send nasty letter to mean ladies who voted "yes" on pickle disgustingness.
On to the vinegar! If nothing else, will be easier to open. I hope...
So, note to self, vinegar, being one of the ingredients of pickle juice, is even nastier when smelt alone. Must pour and consume. Do not think about nastiness. Plugging nose.
Okay, so now we know that plugging your nose does nothing to disguise the nasty reality of drinking apple cider vinegar. And trying to toss it to the back of your throat directly merely hits those lovely taste bugs hiding on the back of your tongue. Feel sick and will likely die within the hour. Throat still hurts. Will wait stupid stupid five minutes with this nasty taste in my mouth before continuing on to
#2: Cayenne Pepper (if we have any...)
Don't have any. Moving on
#3: ACV and Cayenne.... I don't know what ACV is....
Oh, lovely. Acc. Wikipedia, it can stand for, among other things, such as Allegheny-Clarion Valley School District, in Clarion County, Pennsylvania and an Airborne Combat Vehicle, APPLE CIDER VINEGAR.
Um, yet we still have no cayenne and I ain't touching no apple cider vinegar til I'm dead. In which case, it'll probably be some chance of fate that that's what they use to preserve my body. Ew.
#4: Hydrogen Peroxide.... Won't that kill you too? I'm not risking death to get rid of a damn sore throat. Oh, I can drink water to eliminate nasty taste now. Hoorah. Um, need a new site. Nothing else on here is on our home or sounds deathly toxic.
"What's a cure for the sickness of the heart?"
"Arsenic?"
"Arsenic's a poison!"
"'Twould cure the pain of any heart."
Sigh. New site. Digg.com. Um, one of the top hits is apparently cum, haven't none available/being a little disturbed, we're finding a new site again.
Uh oh, Jonesie. Lookit what an MD, or fake MD, says:
pple cider vinegar (ACV) According to Dr. Jarvis in his classic Folk Medicine, the remedy to use to get rid of a sore throat is to gargle with ACV. The acidity should kill the bacteria on contact. Mix one teaspoon to 2 tablespoons in a glass of water. You can mix it as strong as you can stand it. Gargle one mouthful every hour, swallowing afterward. Repeat twice each time. This treatment can cure a streptococcic sore throat in 24 hours. The acid in the ACV is very helpful in soothing and minimizing the sore throat, and, if you swallow it, the extra potassium is also beneficial. Note: After using this remedy be sure to rinse your mouth with water to prevent the acid from eroding the enamel on your teeth.
So, GARGLE, eh? People need to get this clear. Oh, then swallow, but at least it's diluted. Gah! Must brush teeth and return. Maybe gargling breath freshener'll randomly do something.
Brushing teeth seems to have been the best thing so far for my throat, though it did little. Feel like crying T.T <--- like this.
I give up. Le sob. I don't have honey, which is the only other thing I've really heard of, and I feel too sick now to try much else.
Experiment=fail.
Night all
<3
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